After looking deep inside my heart and listening to my inner self these past few days, here are my thoughts and feelings about getting older.
I have always been very content looking at my face and noting that I don’t look my age and then getting on with my day without mulling over the passage of time and its impact on my physical appearance. And since people would always tell me that as well, I settled to that illusion for quite a while. But lately I have been noticing many changes in myself--how my skin is different from what it used to be. I have few brown spots on my face, certainly not like anything of those that used to make me fear getting OLD but rather they make me realize that change has come. The skin of my hands looks less than that of a lake on a placid summer afternoon, but more of some ripples of that same lake on a fall morning. I also seem to have developed an inability to remember names on a short-term basis; old friends aren’t a problem, but newly introduced ones … well, that’s another story.
Other than the physical stuff, the word getting older has entered my mind set as in this thought: I still have more or less 20 years to enjoy my active life. What’s more, the illusions of my twenties and thirties have been exchanged for a look into the interior mirror. The innocence has been replaced by wisdom gained from the different experiences, the physical strength and agility are now more on inner strength and flexibility built on self confidence. The dreams and fantasies are now realities and what used to be a need is now an everyday part of life. I have come to understand that my life is truly what I make it. I have learned to accept full responsibility for the path I have chosen, and although sometimes I continue to have doubts and little insecurities, these are remnants of pains and hurts in the past, and it's only a matter of time before these fears dissipate. I have become the woman I was meant to be. I am caring, compassionate, loving, generous and forgiving. This doesn't mean that I exist in this place at all times, but I try, whenever I am drawn off course, to return to this place. I have never felt more connected to me than at this time of my life. I am creative, vibrant, excited about the future, stepping more into what I am truly capable of becoming, and making no more excuses for what I can't do, while embracing the possibilities of what I can. I have not yet tapped into my full potential, but you can be sure that before I leave this world, I will have given it my best shot.
I have been so richly blessed with a wonderful family. I have my daughters and a grand daughter who are my inspirations. They make me laugh every day. Anyone that knows me knows how I love to laugh. And my daughters have a quick-wit and amazing sense of humor so I find myself laughing a lot whenever we’re together. But most of all they give me hope. Hope for the future, because in their eyes and in their thoughts, I see so much promise. I have wonderful parents that have always believed in me. Last but not least, my friends. I have had so many great friendships throughout my life. Some were brief and fleeting, others for a little longer and some for a lifetime. Some friendships old and some new. I think a person is blessed if they can have one truly close, best friend; I’ve been doubly blessed with more than two best friends!
It hasn't been easy. It is an exhilarating ride this thing called life. But I would not change the course of my life even if given a chance to do so. I am grateful for all I have been through because they’re my stepping stones to what I have become. I give thanks to God every moment for the many generous acts I've been blessed with in my life. He has given me precious gifts that I could ever have!
4 comments:
Happy Birthday Amie. I will pray for your good health and happiness...may you always have rainbow after any rain and you will watch that gloroius sunset with the one who truly loves you till life beyond...
Beautiful reflection. Happy birthday Amie!
The journey through life is a curious thing. At every turn we are faced with decisions; should we turn left or turn right. Just like in the game of golf, we have to stand and make decisions that change the course of our game, in an instant. However, in life, these decisions can have tumultuous consequences that go far beyond the circle of two people. Like the ripples we discover on our upturned hands, every turn we take has a ripple effect that widens in dangerous ways. The turns we make can, in a moment, change the lives of others. Your thoughts reveal your true understanding of this journey that is life but tells little about those consequences just spoken of. It is interesting that you speak of the beauty of Charlottesville and UVA. However you mention little about its founder, Mr. Jefferson, who while he was a man of letters, an intellectual, an artist and a statesman and a lover of the finer things, knew nothing about how the frailities of the human heart, and that ever widening ripple that can become a sea of destruction.
@Tony and Aldrin, Thank you!
@Anonymous, what an astounding thoughts you shared here, thank you! I didn't talk so much about the consequences of my choices in this post because I had talked about some of them in my previous posts and will be talking more in the future...this is a work in progress and I just started to open my heart so I am doing it little by little. Also Thomas Jefferson is one of my most admired US presidents, one post is not enough to talk about him and what he had accomplished. Thank you again for your comment. I really appreciate it...
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